On Motivation

A personal question has been recurring in my life recently. First occurring at a family meal, then during a conversation with my girlfriend, again while writing a job application, and finally, today, in my own head while reading. The question seems at first simple, but has actually been harder to answer than I would have thought; What motivates you?

For those trying to build a career in international relations and conflict it is a question that should always be considered. The world is tainted by the legacy of those who entered this field in search of power, money and vengance. Those of us who believe that we have different motivations must ensure that this is so.

For me there are two sources of motivation. Firstly, there is the excitement. Its important to acknowledge this, although some might say it is inapropriate for someone who claims to seek an ethical career. For me there is no contradiction in the fact that I enjoy being involved in attempts to seek protection and justice for those inoccents caught up in international conflict while still holding my second, and prime, motivation, my personal responsibility to protect.

I don't bare illusions of grandeur when assessing my contribution to the protection of civilians. I am not travelling to Spain to fight a hopeless war against fascists, hiding Jewish families in my house in the Third Reich or sitting in front of bulldozers in the Gaza Strip. This motivation is, however, real.

Some of my earliest memories of concern over international conflict are of the war in Bosnia in the early nineties. I was not old enough at the time to really understand what was happening, but I was old enough to want to make it stop, not for acclaim, but to protect those innocent civilians caught in the middle. People have a right to peace, for themselves and for their loved ones. When I consider the question of what is my motivation the image that is in my mind is that of Mostar Bridge crumbling into the River Neretva.